Dapper Douchebag
by GravityAlwaysFlies
Summary: When Matt takes pity on a "homeless" girl, he invites her to stay with a depressed Tom. The two don't get along, they are both very unlikable, and the drunk and the liar didn't hit it off. But when an old friend comes for revenge, the two accept their similarities and grow sympathy. (NO SHIPPING AT ALL!) Rated T for violence, drugs and mild swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**HeYo! This is very annoying of me. I didn't finish my Wander Over Yonder fanfiction, but here I am writing one about Eddsworld. I just hated that it came to an end, quite a while ago, and wanted to do something for the still-living fandom. Here is a action-packed little fanfiction for the still-fans! Hope you like it!**

Prologue

The three doors

There were three doors. Each lead to a different colour.

First door, lead to Green. A nice, approachable green. A green that screams lively and warming. Almost as if it is to open its welcoming arms to invite you into its home.

Second door, lead to purple. Purple, the colour of royalty. The colour of high-status. The colour of vanity. The colour, that stares at itself in the mirror and says:

"you are a god."

Third door, lead to blue. Sadness almost leaked through the cracks of the door it stayed shut in. It's much more quiet than both purple and green, and defiantly not as friendly. Blue bottles upon blue bottles lay on the blue ground as blue itself tried to forget.

It tried to forget about red.

Red had come, yes it did, with a full force. The two colours clashed. They didn't go well with each other.

Red. The colour of blood. The colour of cruelty. The colour of every worst nightmare you have had. The colour of death.

Blue was weak in comparison. Nevertheless, blue engulfed itself in the blue ocean of doubt and the urge to move on. Forget about red. Green and purple were worried about blue. But blue didn't care.

"He's coming back." Blue would quietly say. "And when he does, I'm not going to be ready."

Will you?


	2. REAL Chapter 1

**Idk how quick these chapters age gonna be, but here is the first chapter!**

Chapter 1

Pictures upon pictures of himself hung up so carefully on the wall, Matt never feels lonely. He didn't listen to Tom who said that "he'd never visit him, because he had to see him enough when the three lived together." Matt looked out a part of his wall that didn't have pictures on it, but a big window. The cold air outside was slightly frigid, the cloudy autum day was no winter snow, but Matt liked the leaves anyway.

Matt decided to himself that a nice, calming nature walk would open up his pores, and while _his_ beauty came naturally, the autum day would let him get out of the house.

Matt grabbed his green over coat and a favourited picture of himself and left. He passed by 'the door' on his way out. Matt stopped for a minute, hesitant to invite his gloomy friend on his soothing walk. Tom hadn't been himself at all. He has become a lot more lonely, even when around friends.

 _Tom just needs a girlfriend!_ Matt thought.

This wasn't true. He didn't need a girlfriend _or_ a boyfriend. Tom needed someone more like him. Tom needed to forget about Tord, and pass the time drinking with a friend. Only problem, is that Edd and Matt didn't drink, and while Tom tried for hours to forget about his past friend, he didn't start looking for the perfect roommate.

Matt decided to go alone. He doesn't that much, for the sake of loneliness, but with his self picture tag-along, he felt acquainted.

The fall leaves crunched beneath Matt's feet, as he loudly hummed a song. Every stranger he passed, Matt felt like they were praising him. Praising his chin. Praising his hair. Praising his height. Until he noticed someone on the road.

A girl sat on the side of an alleyway, most likely homeless. She had dirty blonde hair (colour-wise and literally) staring up at Matt with pleading eyes. Her clothes were quite different. She wore a tuxedo with no dirt on it, not like her face and her hair. She had pale skin with bags under her eyes and rosy cheeks.

Behind her green eyes, were lies. Lies and crimes beyond Matt's knowledge. Matt couldn't see past a lie. He was too busy being his own hero.

"Excuse me!" Matt smiled down at the girl.

She said nothing. Her eyes went more "innocent", which made Matt squeal with happiness.

"You must be wondering who I am! Well, maiden, I am Matt! I think. And I have come to give you a place to stay!" Matt said before anyone could stop him. The girl stood up, slightly taken-aback. She still said nothing.

Matt thought. Where _could_ she stay? Edd was too busy. He had just recently gotten a "girlfriend". Tom didn't think it would last long. Matt thought that his girlfriend would end up falling in love with Matt himself and start a complicated love triangle. If that happens, Tom would have no one!

Tom. Poor Tom. That's it! He would let this girl stay with Tom. And is Tom doesn't like her, you gotta _force it_. And that's what Matt planned on doing.

"You can stay with my friend Tom! He's not very fun, or as good-looking as me, but I think you'll like it there!" Matt said, cheerfully.

The girl nodded, but still said nothing. She blindly agreed. After all. Nothing was better than the streets.

right?

 **Chapter 1 is done! I'm back in school so I may not post as often, but often enough. Chapter 2 soon!**


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